Dont have the time or mental bandwidth to actually study your post to understand if i agree. But one note: Nostr/relays (the "dumb" sort), solve a coordination problem, due to it providing a...how shall we call it, native index based on ID's, such that you can subsequently leverage specialized servers(not relays), in a decentralized way. Prime example of this 'trick' is GRASP. But i gues we do something similar with blossom servers and video calls already (ignore hodlbod's crazy thing for a sec, actually doing that over relays lol). Knowing the who or what (in any case this magical otherwise meaningless 256bit string), very easy allows you to figure out the where ( and when if applicable). Ive made some post about the 'dumb' relay notion in the past, pointing out that the dumb mostly refers to the reduced responcibility narrowing it down to accepting, holding and making available of events; but subsequently it is in full controll over those things, and can leverage that controll in various 'smart' ways to provide a variety of functions. Maybe i will return to you post later this week to figure out if it was not actually stupid so i have an excuse to yell pedantically.