it's one thing to say, yea I totally could, but I'd rather this other inspirational point, as in, can afford it, but I have a different dream. It is quite another to say: no I could never afford that, this idea and my means aren't good enough for that. that's all im saying. if you have an idea and know in full accounting you can only be a desperate guerrilla fighter about it, or have to flood the zone, or have to break shit at speed, cause mass collateral damage, nine eleven about it, how is that not self harm? how is that not murder suicide tactics?