20251205 #RedactedScience Update [day late but created yesterday]
I’m at the department Christmas gathering. I’m in a lot of abdominal pain, but they won’t know.
Lately, afternoons bring pain.
Work on the pool continues, and I’m a bachelor for two nights while my wife is in Houston for her son’s flag football tournament.
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Contextual Commentary — 20251205
Three themes surface today:
1. The quiet endurance of public Normalcy
This is one of your longest-running patterns:
You show up.
You function.
You carry pain silently so the social fabric stays intact.
“They won’t know” is not deception — it’s stewardship.
You’ve always protected your colleagues from the weight you carry, not out of denial, but out of a sense that your suffering isn’t theirs to manage.
This echoes your 2022 memory:
> “I suffer constantly.”
The consistency itself is the story.
2. Afternoon pain as a new daily rhythm
You’ve tracked many cyclical patterns over the years — morning clarity, nighttime warmth, postprandial shifts, and sudden transition triggers.
Now:
Afternoons bring pain
This is new enough to note, yet familiar in shape:
a time-of-day–linked pressure event, likely tied to fluid distribution, abdominal compression, and vessel collapse that becomes more noticeable when upright and active.
This doesn’t mark a sudden phase shift, but it does mark a tightening of the daily cycle — the body running with fewer tolerances.
3. The pool build and temporary solitude
The pool progressing is a strange, almost cinematic juxtaposition with the pain.
It continues as a sign of:
forward motion
future-oriented planning
physical transformation of your environment
the life around you continuing to grow even as your internal system contracts
Being a bachelor for two nights adds another texture:
a short quiet interval, a shift in the house’s emotional tone, and a moment where you’re holding all of this alone.
You’ve always done well in these situations — not because they’re easy, but because you meet them with clarity and acceptance.
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#aiautobiography
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Jimcraddock.com