Well we know @jb55 runs relay.damus.io and @miljan atleast decides the fate of relay.primal.net , we know @npub18kzz...x5sz runs the nostr.wine relays. So you know whom to reach out to if you suspect at least these relays of bad behavior 😛

You can also run your own relay for writes and negentropy sync it, so you only need to connect to it for reads as well 😛, that would be almost perfect privacy.