I never realized NIP-17 was this vulnerable to gaslighting—I thought scale was its only weakness. This definitely shifts the conversation toward whether Nostr needs an MLS-style approach for secure groups.
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Yes, MLS, or Signal over Nostr. I'm trying to think of where NIP17 groups in their current state might fit in, but besides nostr devs chatting to other nostr devs (all of whom understand this issue) I'm not sure.
For one to one though, as well some automated secret passing, NIP17 seems a good solution.