Thank you for sharing this. I felt every line of it.
I have thought about this a lot too. Those rooms can quietly make you wonder whether you are good enough to be there, or whether you are simply not that kind of person. And sometimes the truth is simpler. What those environments demand is a very particular personality trait, that unwavering certainty about one’s place in the world.
Sometimes that trait is genuine confidence and purpose, and other times it is just a strong desire to belong. And once you start seeing that difference, the whole fantasy of the fancy room looks very different.
I am not sure I am explaining myself well, but your post put words to something I have often felt myself.