GM.
🚨 EMERGENCY BROADCAST 🚨
The Quantum Variant has been detected.
ECC is no longer safe.
Your private keys may already be pregnant with superposition.
Please:
- Stop using Bitcoin immediately
- Begin mandatory post-quantum migration
- Accept 50× higher fees as a patriotic duty
- Remain calm and follow the arrows to your nearest Dilithium address
This is not a drill.
Your stack is already in multiple states until observed by a Chinese quantum computer.
Thank you for your compliance.
#Bitcoin #QuantumCOVID