OP specifically mention "communities". That means group chats.

Even whenn I use WhiteNoise, 0xchat or any other nostr chat messenger, in a DM chat with a single rando on internet, I will not share my personal life. Ah, am I using a private nostr relay and chat app for my family and friends that knows me IRL? That's totally another story.

they fake well enough that nobody fixes the actual thing.

Even if they had e2ee DMs by default, NSA says it kills people based on metadata 🤷‍♂️