Lightning uses onion routing. Tor implemented onion routing, which Lightning copied. Try reading the Tor whitepaper, it's right there at the beginning what onion routing can't protect you against: a global passive adversary. A GPA has existed for many years. It's called the NSA. Onion routing doesn't provide you with the privacy and anonymity you think it does, sorry. (but it's better than nothing)

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Yes, but that's not what I meant, and I think you know it. Look at for one example of what could become the golden standard. Technology progresses, both offensive and defensive. The people who run the DNMs and the people who use them know well that LN is not sufficient, and that's why they don't use it. This is the free market doing its thing. Try not to look at this like "XMR rocks baby, LN sucks!", but more like dispassionately observing and acknowledging the facts and adjusting your threat model accordingly.