Each relay is private property of an operator. You can just reach out to them or stop using those you cannot find. When you open the relay page, there should be a privacy policy and terms and conditions for your use. Regardless if it is paid or free. Lack of doing so just opens them up for litigation from users.
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A list of recommended relays would be very centralizing. Ideally each user chooses a different operator, which requires them to search and understand what each of them is offering.
We don't have tools at the moment, but it could be something somebody builds.