When my uncle visits, he greases up all of our handles and knobs, and just gunks up everything. Sometimes he just reaches into the silverware and smears tomato sauce on all of them.
I presume incompetence rather than malice, of course. He just is a dirty man.
Maybe he revels in the fact that he doesn't have to be clean. Who knows.
Or maybe he hates our cleanliness and actively sabotages it. Whatever.
I mean he doesn't enter our front door with greasy hands, but after eating he typically has the greasiest fingers. And then he explores our cabinets and opens our fridge.
It's so bothersome to touch a greasy surface when you weren't expecting it.
Anyway, tonight before he came I preemptively spread dish soap on everything that he would touch. Take that, motherfucker. Lol.
But we're nice to him. We'd never disparage him. He is destined for eternity.
It's a fucking weird chess game we're playing with him. It's a bit hilarious if you can see it that way. Such petty problems, compared to what they could be.
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