I think we are on different wavelengths.
Most Basic Christianity Claim
There is an intelligent being who has always existed. This entity is all powerful (omnipotent), all knowing (omniscient), present everywhere (omnipresent), perfect in form, thought and action, and is truth defined with no deceit at all. This is the being we call God. At one point the universe did not exist then God caused everything everywhere to come into existence. God created everything without flaw. All of creation was originally perfect in every way. God created Man and Woman and physically spent time with them in the beginning. God gave humans free will to choose whether to obey His rules and spend time with Him.
This is what I believe.
In my post I was referring to the inability to completely understand the ability of humans to have free choice if God knew ahead of time how we would choose and how this ties into predestination.
God is not an abstract idea, but rather a distinct being.
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Making the choice to believe what you do is the bet you make with your life. It is in fact a safe bet with good odds of survival and even thriving due to the community of like minded individuals that made the same bet.
You struggle with the contradictions within that choice. Even good people do bad things in the name of good.
It is easy to be predetermined and still have free will because of the nature of the beings making the free will choices have a strong sense of survival that creates a desire for the most energy economic outcome for the task of survival.
If you know the attributes of those making the choices, predetermination is a snap.
Successful leaders of all kinds throughout history bet on what they predetermined knowing a fraction of the attributes of those in the body of their influence. Through that shared but still predetermined choice of the body betting that choice is correct made the reality as it was predetermined.
This is no different than a god doing the same on a much grander scale.
You choose to be one of the people in the sphere of influence.
You make choices based on that influence.
You benefit from the shared success of others that share the same choices.
The outcome was predetermined you still had a choice to participate in that predetermined outcome.
It is also the same to predetermine the outcome of those who don’t participate. That choice then becomes the tail of caution to better influence participation.
Such things are not the ways of a god that is the struggle, that is the conflict.