Swaps don't have to be centralized... They can be atomic and run by anyone.
I wouldn't recommend an old laptop for a lightning node. And a VPS is much worse than holding on liquid imo. Lightning nodes need high uptime and reliable hardware. Recommending an old laptop for anything other than a Bitcoin node is recommending something that could lead to a loss of funds when their laptop dies and they don't backup their channel states. Running a good lightning node is like a part time job man.
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For fake L2's they do have to be centralized, because the fake L2 is itself is centralized.
Old laptops have a battery which mitigates power event corruption to the channel state. I do recommend an nvme drive in those old laptops since the MTTF is as low as RAID arrays were not that long ago.
Pub backs up SCB's to relays on change, they're very light and fit in an encrypted event. Derivation allows that to be restored by the seed.
Automation beats crypto-theater every time.