Thread

I never read that, but my kids only listen to me when I'm really certain and confident in what I'm saying and willing to help them do what I'm telling. when I'm distracted saying and repeating they don't do what I'm telling and challenge me even more (so I can come back to earth and give them the limit they need). sorry if this has nothing to do with the book, but I love talking about parenting and education. did you read this book? would you like to talk more about it? I didn't read a lot of patenting books, I think, only one from Laura Gutman "maternity coming face to face to your own shadow". I didn't feel guilty by the time I read it, maybe because I was pregnant and wasn't relating to my kids outside yet, but I heard it can go this way. I read "o poder do discurso materno" from Laura Gutman and I really liked it, I didn't find any English translation for that. I read a few John Holt books, but they were not about patenting, but education and unschooling.

I quite liked the book, it's a useful toolkit full of strategies if it seems like your kids aren't listening - they're ideas of what you can say and do, and also how to adjust your own expectations (eg. are they developmentally ready for whatever you're asking, and how are you feeling etc.). And it also has some good nuggets of research, eg. young kids need time to process what you say, so sometimes count to ten after you say something to wait for them to respond. I'd say this book was one of the most recommended among people who practice so-called "gentle parenting", which has a bad rep (because people think it means giving into all your kids' whims), but this book actually shows a lot of ways to hold boundaries and enforce rules, while being respectful and kind to each other, and validating one another's emotions. I also read "How Children Learn" by John Holt just before this book, and a lot of things resonate, eg. letting children explore widely and not interrupting when they're concentrating etc. that sort of respect is quite different from my own upbringing where fearful discipline ruled and emotions were never said out loud. So I think they're pretty good companion books actually. Would love to know what other education/parenting books you enjoyed! Will look up the ones you mentioned.

now I really want to read it! I also read from John Holt: how children fail, instead of education, teach your own, learning all the time. I read it all before having kids, but observing kids I interacted with. I think it's way different and maybe I could read it all again. after that I met a woman called Ana Thomaz, who took her son out of the school and her daughters never went to school and she talked about "desescolarização", that is taking the school structures out of our life's: observing the behaviors we were just reproducing and what hidden emotion is behind it, then we feel it and release the behaviour. I've been practicing this for maybe 11 years now, but our children sometimes bring us challenges that I need to dive into myself and that has been enlightening. how many children do you have? how old they are? we can talk more privately if you want. I would love that!