The thing is that a change on your nodes mempool policy changes noting. You will get the transaction either way when the block is mined because they are valid no matter what your mempool policy says.
So the complete discussion is stupid because no matter what your nodes mempool does. The network doesn’t care
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Incorrect. Nodes broadcast the transactions to the mempool/ miners. That’s the whole point for a node network all running the software in consensus. Think of it this way, when Bitcoin is double spent, or the data of a transaction is too high, it won’t be picked up by then nodes, and broadcasted to the mempool. And it will not be included in the block once it’s mined.
Same goes for spam filters. My private instance of the mempool could be vastly different from the public one at .space, because of the filters I’ve set. Some transactions simply don’t exist on my instance because of my parameters. If I was able to mine that block myself, those transactions that I have filtered out will not exist in that block.