With everything going on in our lives and especially abusive relationships, it often feels like everything is not ok, even when it is. Even if it’s for a moment, it’s helpful to embrace when things are ok. It helps to settle our emotions so we can figure out what we can actually do, instead of being stuck in the fear of what could happen.
Narcissists are learning more and getting educated about narcissism just like everyone else. Just because they know the terms and can lie better and manipulate you, doesn’t mean you’re the narcissist, even if they say you are. They’ve lied their entire lives! We don't have to believe or participate in their delusion!
We’re often ready to give it all away just for our freedom from the narcissist. It’s honestly probably worth it too! We usually don’t need to actually let them have everything though and they don’t care about the stuff anyway, unless we do or they can use it to control us. Don’t give up more than you need to, even if only to use it later for leverage in getting out.
It's often not easy to spot the fake empathy at first. When we pay attention to the actions behind their words we begin to see what the truth is. This is another reason for us to take our time and go slow in new relationships and pay attention to actions, not just words. In all relationships pay attention to actions and see if their words match. If not, may get stuck in a trap!
Confronting narcissists is almost never a good idea, especially if we suspect they are. They will simply change their tactics after they tell you you’re wrong about them or the situation. Then it will be harder to see the abuse or manipulation next time, because you told them how they exposed themselves.
It feels like we’re blindsided often in toxic relationships. This is on purpose to keep us off balance, which allows them to control us better. It’s not ok they do it, but it’s essential for us to be aware that they do. Try not to let it catch you off guard and it can make it less miserable to deal with.
Most of us are more likely to question if we are the narcissist in the relationship with a narcissist than narcissists are. This doesn’t mean we are, it means we actually care about not being a terrible person and that we care about other people. Narcissists simply don’t question because they don’t care, and of course they want to protect their illusion too.
No one seems to actually understand what we've gone through or how to help. We often have to face everything alone even when we have people who love us in our lives. None of this is fair or right. It's essential for us to find the people who do understand though. They are out there! We simply have to keep going until we find them.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
The emotional hangover is a real thing, especially if we have toxic people in our lives. In some ways it's the calm after the storm or whatever chaos they created. It doesn't mean anything's gone wrong, even though it feels like it. The most important thing is for us to be kind to ourselves no matter what we go through.
Narcissists continually learn how to hide the cracks in their armor so we don't see through the illusion. Don't think that just because you spotted how they did something before means you will immediately see it again. They will change it, especially if they know you saw it. They never change to be better, only to control more!
Everything's big deal to narcissists, unless it's anything to do with something good you've done. Once again it's all about them. You'd better make a big deal out of the good that they do. If you mention anything they've done wrong, they'll make it a big deal and that you don't love them. It's all to fit their illusion they are perfect and everyone else is not good enough. It's all a lie they created to keep you trapped and in their control. We don't have to fall for it.
Narcissists train and shame us into silence about anything happening in our relationship. The worse things get, the harder it is for us to say anything about what's going on. Breaking this silence is often essential for us to see the truth of what's actually happening. Find safe places to break the silence!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Narcissists are stuck and they want to keep you there too. They don’t want you moving forward or changing anything unless it benefits them. They simply want more from you while also only having you in their life when they need you. It sounds harsh because it is. Move forward with your life anyway. Don’t wait for them. They won’t go with you, they’ll only take from you.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Toxic relationships are literally like having poison injected into us. It kills our dreams and it sucks the life out of us. In order to heal we must get the poison out, but first, we must stop or at least minimize the amount of poison we're exposed to. It's not easy, but it's worth it! Do the work to eliminate the poison from your life and release it from yourself.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! I hope that you get to spend time and love on the most important person in your life! This person is you! You are the most important person in your life and you deserve the love today and everyday! Allow yourself to give yourself this love today and every single day!
Narcissists will bring up every issue they can in an attempt to get a reaction from you. They will continue to push you on everything they know bothers you. Then when they finally get a reaction out of you, they will blame and shame you for being unreasonable or overreactive. Their goal is to keep engaging you until you break. Leave, take a break, shut down and end the conversation. They will continue to push you, but almost anything you do will be better than reacting to them.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Narcissists always want more and there's never enough of that. They will continue to take from you until you stop giving or are completely empty. We must start giving to ourselves to get out of this cycle. They will be angry about not getting more, but they're going to be angry anyway. Start giving to you even if it's a little and let them be upset about it.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
What an ironic and perfect day to get divorced or have papers served to a narcissist in our life. Of course if this is happening, I realize we may not get to laugh about it until we've gotten further away from them. Either way, I hope you focus on you and your life and do something you love today!
It's one of those days we may think about watching out for black cats and such. The main thing we actually need to look out for is toxic people. They unfortunately try to ruin every day. It's best to get away from them if and when we can. Leaving is best, but avoiding them is the next best thing.
We often try to figure out how to get the narcissists in our lives to love us. The reality is they will never love anyone including themselves. We must learn to give ourselves the love we deserve. We all deserve this love and we can learn to give it to ourselves. Do the work, you deserve the love!
