Most of us don't actually reach out for help or begin doing the work until we reach the crisis. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us for that. It's simply the journey we are on. The good news is that you can decide at any time to begin doing the work and reaching out for support and help.
We're exhausted because of the emotions and also have trouble sleeping because of unprocessed emotions. This is a cycle too many people are in. It's not easy to get out of it either. It requires facing and processing the emotions, which will allow us to rest and continue releasing and healing.
We never see it until we do. It's only looking back that we can put the pieces together to make some sense of it. The good news is that we did figure it out or are figuring it out. Being kind to ourselves through the process is essential. It allows us to release the emotions and the past and move forward in our lives.
Narcissists will do everything they can to control the narrative of the story of your life. They will gaslight, manipulate and straight up lie to keep this control. Don't allow them to influence your thoughts. You know what actually happened in your life and your relationship. You don't have to believe their illusions.
We can never beat, shame or judge ourselves into changing anything in our lives long term. It may work short term, but there's always a cost. It will hurt us long term more than the short term gain of doing it. This is probably one of the most important things that everyone can do, if they decide to. It will forever change your life!
Closure means you see through them and leave. They thrive on keeping you confused and emotionally hooked. The best closure is walking away for good. It's not easy, but it's easier than continuing to live in or conform to their abuse and illusion they want you to live in! We get to choose ourselves!
Couples counseling is never a good idea if you are in an abusive relationship. It's a trap. They will collect more information to use against you and try to use the therapist to further abuse you. It's always better to get therapy for yourself by yourself.
Narcissists will act like they simply can't comprehend being kind or decent to another person, or at least their target. If you are in a relationship where you need to try to explain this. This is not a healthy relationship. If it hasn't changed, it probably won't. You must choose yourself regardless of what they do!
The exhaustion so many people get stuck in is the emotional exhaustion. It's much heavier and harder to recover from than physical exhaustion. Whether it's stress, overwhelm, or the lingering affects of toxic relationships. It takes more than a "good night's sleep" to recover from. It often takes allowing our nervous system to settle down a bit, so we can rest.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
It takes a lot of time to figure out if someone is a narcissist and much more for the first one. Even when you've been through it before, it doesn't mean we'll spot them immediately. Figuring it out and removing them from our lives is important, but being kind to ourselves along the way is the most important!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
It often feels like we struggle and can't make it through another day especially as we're ending a relationship with a narcissist. The truth is, it doesn't take any more strength to make it through getting out and healing as it does to deal with the abuse while we're in it. Neither one is easy, but freedom gets easier over time.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Sometimes saving ourselves is the best we can do. We can't fix or save anyone else and if they're holding us back from being healthy, it's probably time to leave. You and everyone else around you, deserve for you to be healthy. Do the work and let everything else go and embrace the life you want!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Narcissists will forever blame us for everything we did and didn't do. They'll also blame us for everything we didn't put up with from them and especially ever speaking up. That's just what they do and how they avoid and project everything they do onto us. It's not your fault not matter what they say!
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Most often when we are judging or shaming someone else it's a reflection about something in ourselves. It's different to observe and disagree with something than to throw shame and judgement at someone else. Take the time to reflect on why we are doing this to someone else and if it reflects how we feel about ourselves even in small ways.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
Narcissists hold onto every single thing from the past. They will continue to use it against us forever. Even when we get away from them, they will still try to bring it up. Be cautious with what you share until you truly know who someone is and forgive yourself for the rest. We only see it when we do.
I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds. Healing is inevitable when you have the right tools and support.
So many of us find ourselves in a relationship with a narcissist and then are in the struggle of how to get out. Unraveling how all of this happened is part of the healing process. It’s a tough cycle to break, and while the abuse is never okay, there is hope for healing. Once we hit that rock bottom and realize what’s happening, we can start making new decisions. Getting out, if you can, is essential.
Releasing the resistance and realizing that life happens for us, not to us is life changing! It allows us to learn the lessons and not take everything personally, even if it is. Making meaning out of everything that happens makes the struggles more meaningful and much less miserable. This is a skill and a practice we can all learn, if and when we take the time to learn it.
We often find ourselves justifying manipulation or abuse because we’ve been programmed to tolerate it. Growing up around dysfunction can give us a high tolerance for toxic behavior, but that doesn't make it okay. It’s time to question if your relationships are truly healthy and whether the other person is actually willing to change. You deserve better than just "dealing with it."
So many of us feel completely spent after going through an abusive relationship. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to go through it. This same strength is still inside of you and it is more than enough to heal yourself from what you went through! Take the time, do the work. You are worth it!
When we are able to realize and embrace that everything in life happens for us, it allows the journey to be much easier. We all go through things, but often we have resistance and judgement about these things. This keeps us stuck. It doesn't mean bad things are ok, but we can make meaning from them.
