If you’ve never encountered the incredible practice called Humanistic Intervention Training, I highly recommend taking a short dive, at least once:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdZBJjXariL26n5tG6jvZ3fqLCifSgCCO&si=asLz6ZkxGB_WsKuz
I’ve been a pre/post Fair volunteer at The Oregon Country Fair about twenty times, and attended this training in-person. The practice, in my words, approaches human to human conflict through a very interesting lens. It seems quite intuitive to me, but it doesn’t seem to be a common practice among folks in this beautiful world, so I’ll consider it a culture thing and get off any perceived high horse 😂 I think this practice really rocks, so let me wax about it.
Each human is, unto themselves, a deep, powerfully subjective universe, sharing in an objective reality. When we find ourselves engaged in conflict, whether we are a direct participant or an outside party, we have the possibility to drop our perspective for a moment and understand, perceptively, and palpably, the experience that the other person is having. From that place, we can choose how we engage, and HIT gives us a great, simple system to check off the following boxes:
- Did we get the thing resolved?
- Did we have fun doing it?
- Do all of us feel loved?
If you’ve done these three things, then you had what we call a “three-chip interaction.” Go get yourself some chips!
There are uncountable times that I have been wrong. I am constantly, and consistently, reflecting on my actions and words, especially when presented a reflection from someone that has had an interaction with me which necessitates communication. Being wrong carries guilt, shame, fear, and often a loss of hope, all of which can be supported and remedied through compassion and patience from the others involved in the conflict, and the folks in your community that are not directly involved.
I revere the human being that is capable of approaching conflict with a heart for resolution, patience for the needs of each person, and a steady determination to get our three chips.
I hope this practice helps to make the world a little brighter for each of you, as it has for me. I know it can be fun to be crass, sharp, edgy, and sound like the big man on campus, calling people names and putting people down who you do not agree with or directly oppose the actions or thoughts of. But I, in my small and humble opinion, think that’s a really stupid way to live.
I’ve got plenty of years among the Burning Man community to know the joy and sorrow of being a humorous and clever asshole. If that’s your bag, then bag it up! But that sure isn’t mine, and there’s a lot of people in this world that respond far better to kindness, compassion, and patience. I hope HIT is another tool you can put in your belt for the long march that is breathing til’ you aren’t.
Keep on rockin’ in the free world, Nostr. GM, GN, LFG, GFY, etc 😜