Gertrude, Beatrice, Hortense
Allison, Elizabeth, Jessica
Lexi, Shiloh, Kenzy
Xyr, Charizard, Beast <- You Are Here
That's The Joke
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4'7", balding, sinewy, naked except mismatched socks with holes in them. Hats, occasionally.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
The one with smart people
And that has made all the difference
Welcome to the age of
"Holy shit that's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen and the cinematography on this video is stunning but I ain't watching more than 3 seconds of this"
*swipe*
a distinct lack of whelm, in fact
including ', broseph.' at the end of all sentences, written or spoken, until a professional person 'needs to speak with me'
#boredatwork
I DON'T FEAR PUBLIC SPEAKING
I FEAR PUBLIC LISTENING
WITH EACH SPEECH I BECOME DUMBER
I struggle to find anything, in fact, even one thing, in this world, that could be considered 'something to shake a stick at'
EVERYTHING'S A FUCKING 'JOURNEY' NOW
THAT IT IS MONDAY AND YOU REQUIRE AN ABOVE AVERAGE VOLUME OF LIQUID MOTIVATION TO PARTICIPATE IN CIVIL SOCIETY (OR IN SOCIETY, CIVILLY) IN NO FORM OBLIGATES MY STRATEGIC RE-PRIORITIZATION OR LOGISTICAL RE-ORIENTATION
If you keep using your phone
even though it has a broken screen
because that's easier than swapping a sim card...
You might be a boomer
ASK ME ABOUT MY LOADED GUN COLLECTION
OR JUST FAIL TO KNOCK
THESE MOVIES KEEP ALLEGING THAT TRUE LOVE EXISTS
Don't walk up to a guitarist and offer to shake his hand in the middle of a song.
One would not think that one would need to say such a thing, but evidently one does.
We will no longer be supporting iPhone users running Microsoft Outlook, and deeply regret any expectation that we offer apologies or sympathy for returning the inconvenience to its rightful location.
Churches get a bad rap.
"let's focus on babies and elders and charity and goodness"
"NO. Cursing and debauchery, selfishness and porn, video games and violence only. Stay in your lane, Jesusguy."
life is where you can learn and grow the depth of your experience, understanding, relationships, and spirituality
church is where you can learn what your beliefs are expected to be
We are Native Americans
We make good use of the whole cow
"We have to save the planet!"
"How?"
"By supporting Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer!"
This is what it was like watching you kids grow up. So I don't wan't to hear any more shit.
I JUST ASK THAT HER BIGGEST TURN-ON NOT BE 'AVOIDING MISSIONARY'
HE WHO CHOOSES THE CATTLE GUARD PACKAGE SO THAT HIS FARM HANDS KNOW WHO'S BOSS WHEN THEY DRIVE PAST HIS DRIVEWAY