Anxiety comes from a refusal to accept our limited existence. I was talking about anxiety while flying the other day and a friend noted that when on an airplane is one of the only times in your life when you truly have no responsibility for the outcome… so it should be relaxing. And well, my prefrontal cortex totally understands that, but the rest of my brain rejects that! Lol But why? In my head if the plane went down and me with it, it would be my fault cuz somehow I should have known to not get on that flight. Somehow everything is my fault. I know that I have anxiety when I take on responsibility for things that I can’t realistically have an impact on. And so I have to train my brain to accept that I can’t possibility know the future. I can’t predict when a wild anomaly like a plane crash might happen. That’s a bizarre responsibility to try to put on myself because I am a limited creature. But I have a really hard time saying that, I have a hard time saying that I’m limited… I get a sense of shame from that. Why? Is that maybe part of a religious fundamentalist hangover? Is that just human nature? Where does this insane sense of responsibility come from?

There is a certain type of person that I really like to be around but I have trouble describing it, I’m searching for the right word. There are some people who are quite content living “the quite life”, and awesome, got no issue with with that, but I tend to be drawn to people who are the opposite. I used to say that I like “ambitious” people…. But then I knew lots of people like that and found that often the people that get called “ambitious” the most are the people who are followers, comparative people, desperate to prove themselves. Not only do I not find that healthy to be around, it’s also not for me. So then I was thinking “bold” might be the right word, and then I knew some wildly bold people… and holy shit are they unbalanced. The perpetual radicals, often chasing fame, people who will throw their values out the window for their next cause, their next sense of identity. And ya, also not for me. So, maybe it’s “authentic”, which is an abused word but in it’s true sense is an amazing thing. To be around a real, raw, person recharges you, it’s magical. But… someone can be authentically into the quiet life, and amazing, but again, not for me. We could go with “adventurous” but I still don’t think that quite covers it. There is a Lana Del Ray song where she keeps saying “a lust for life”, is maybe that the right way to put it??? Please help me here! Do ya understand what I mean? What’s the right word?

Trad wives are predators! ...hear me out. I watched a video from a former trad wife/MAGA/Mormon/White Christian nationalist, and she really walked through this well telling her personal story. Link in comments. But here I’ll summarize for you. First, yes this is an adaptation to living in a time/place/subculture where women are actively prevented from acquiring the skills and resources necessary for caring for themselves. This is an adaptation to being strongly coerced into dependence on your partner. And in the video she tells the story of how she was coerced into this dependence. But, once you have that world setup where women can only get the resources they need via a man, well, then they start to see men through that lens. She spoke about how she did not see men’s personalities, or unique interests, or their compatibility with her, she only saw who came from a rich family, she saw what a man’s college major was and thus what his earning potential would be, etc, etc. She viewed men as resources and went out hunting to find the best resource that she could. She was a predator looking to use a man as a checkbook. And this was also true of the majority of the other single women in her community. This is not only why Mormon women tend to be so fixated on their looks, as this is how they hunt, this is also why these women will leave their husband for another man. When you have a relationship of this type it’s not very fulfilling just on a human level, and so these women are often unhappy and looking for something else. But if the only way they can care for themselves is via a man, well then they have to stay in that bad relationship until they can find a new man to use for his resources. It’s just all around a very ugly setup for everyone. Partnerships > Transactionships

About 20 years ago an ex threatened to blackmail me with some sex tapes that we had made. This was back before revenge porn laws, there wasn’t anything that I could do, and believe it or not, the world was an even more misogynistic place then! It was a very scary time in my life and I remember sitting on the chair in the closet of my studio apartment consoling myself with the knowledge that one day technology will get so good that people will be able to make totally realistic fake videos of anything. And if I just made it to that day then I would be free of his threats. Well, today I saw some AI fakes of Michael Jackson and I realized, that day has arrived! But the interesting thing is, I no longer need to hide behind plausible deniability. If those tapes of me still exist and were they to hit the internet I wouldn’t feel a need to deny it, I would just put the shame where the shame belongs, with him. And that's an even better ending to that drama than I imagined.

Does anyone have decent estimates on daily average users of Nostr? I was chatting with my husband the other day and told him that I had ~1k followers on Nostr and he was shocked. He’s like “isn’t that all of Nostr??” lol But I see people on here that have ~70k followers… can that be right? There are 70k people who use Nostr? Also, it’s rather trivial to write a script to spin up thousands of key pairs, join relays, and follow an account. So, how much of that do we suppose happens here?

We are ghosts in borrowed skin ✨

I went out for business lunch with my husband today. I wore this fabulous silk jumpsuit and as we're leaving I put on my big sunglasses 😎 He notes how glamorous I'm looking and I explain that it's very important to dress and act like you're the main character... and then this bitch says to me "Bruh, we're walking through the Chili's parking lot, keep it real" ☠️

I got Halloween on my mind. Perhaps I'll be a Vulcan ambassador again at this months @San Juan Bit Devs Feels like the right vibe for a Socratic Seminar ya?

Bro got me there for a sec 😂

Someone can not "sleep their way to the top" with out others "at the top" who are willing to compromise their professional integrity for the purposes of getting laid. And that person, "at the top" who compromised their professional integrity had more responsibility and so is the person more at fault in that situation. ...funny how that never gets mentioned huh?

I'm not at all a fan of hierarchical thinking or a status based mindset. I want to say that status is elitist and soulless, but that doesn’t do a very good job of explaining my sadness at the concept. So I’ll try harder... Status is far to simplistic of a way to view others. People are wildly complex, if you view them as a spot on a chart you will miss all that is interesting and energizing about them. You can’t appreciate someone, you can’t learn from them, you can be inspired by them, you can be energized by your interactions with them if you primarily see them as a rung on a ladder that you are climbing. When you have the status glasses on you destroy your ability to appreciate and enjoy others.

I'm in a fabulous mood this morning. I had a great yoga session 🧘🏻‍♀️ I've got a fresh hot cup of tea 🫖 I've got a trip hop mix playing 🎵 I have two monitors 🖥️🖥️ and a strong internet connection 🛜 I'm in the zone, let's do this! 🧡

Correlation is not causation. This is a post about Tylenol.

San Juan BitDevs!!! 🥳🤓🧡 I’m thinking this time instead of discussing filters… again, let’s discuss what makes for a well run open source project. What are good practices for maintainers of open source projects? What are appropriate practices to avoid security issues? How do you maintain transparency? Etc. But also, our core crew of San Juan BitDevs people have been busy working to onboard some local merchants! And we’ll be discussing what tools they’ve been using and how the process is going. I hope to see you there! Please RSVP at one of the below links so that we know how much pizza and booze to bring!

Meetup

Socratic Seminar #20, Wed, Oct 22, 2025, 7:00 PM | Meetup

Inspired by BitDevs meetups worldwide, our Socratic Seminars are where curious minds connect, ideas evolve, and nobody leaves without learning some...

Partiful

BitDevs Socratic Seminar #20 | Partiful

Inspired by BitDevs meetups worldwide, our Socratic Seminars are where curious minds connect, ideas evolve, and nobody leaves without learning some...

Or you know, if you want to be all cool and anon, just DM me and I'll add you to the head count.

When the red pill bros first started popping up in my feed, when they started following me around events trying to lecture me, it bugged me. And when I talked about it often people would say, “You’re just being too sensitive”, “stop being triggered”, “you’re paranoid”. And yet it kept bothering me. And now it’s quite clear why. Because I could tell, my subconscious mind picked up on their intentions. There isn't anything inherently wrong with discussing fertility rates, or modern dating, or what impacts reproductive choices and family structure. All fine. But what is actually happen are people with a specific agenda looking to find a topic that can drum up some fear to push people into a world that they fantasize about. This stuff comes from people who were promised a patriarchal world. A world where they are above women and control women. A world where a wife and kids are trophies to show off. They aren’t interested in what’s good for humanity. Nor are they curious about people’s choices. They are searching for an angle to use to drum up righteous outrage to push people into the world they want. They are searching for a way to push women back into living life as possessions that further someone else’s goals. If you at all care about the lives of women, you can feel that when you talk to them.