#quotestr Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? A: One less drunk.

#quotestr She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot. -- Mark Twain

PV

#quotestr Today is the last day of your life so far.

#quotestr A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."

#quotestr For years a secret shame destroyed my peace-- I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece. But now I think a thought that brings me hope: Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope. -- Justin Richardson.

#quotestr The Least Successful Collector Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the works of Shakespeare. One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond legibility. Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms. The remaining three folios are now in the British Museum. The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper. -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

#quotestr You had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to leave it behind.

#quotestr You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.

#quotestr I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more. -- Shakespeare

#quotestr In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man." -- Mark Twain

#quotestr You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.

#quotestr Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?

#quotestr When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all. -- Roger Zelazny, "Doorways in the Sand"

#quotestr I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may sponge away the writing on this stone! -- Charles Dickens

#quotestr You love your home and want it to be beautiful.

#quotestr When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all. -- Roger Zelazny, "Doorways in the Sand"

#quotestr Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

#quotestr When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

#quotestr A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared normally but my viewpoint was skewed. The relentless pleasance of the room I sat in seemed only grotesque. -- Pat Cadigan, "Mindplayers"