The IBM purchase of ROLM gives new meaning to the term "twisted pair". -- Howard Anderson, "Yankee Group"

... TheysaidDoyouseethebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehill?andIsaidYesIsee thebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillTheresabigdarkforestbetweenmeandthe biggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillandalittleoldladyridingonaHoovervacuum cleanersayingIllgetyoumyprettyandyourlittledogTototoo ... I don't even *HAVE* a dog Toto...

I'd rather laugh with the sinners, Than cry with the saints, The sinners are much more fun! -- Billy Joel, "Only The Good Die Young"

Uh-oh!! I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!

There is only one word for aid that is genuinely without strings, and that word is blackmail. -- Colm Brogan

"Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a smurfette." -- P. Buhr, Computer Science 354

T: One big monster, he called TROLL. He don't rock, and he don't roll; Drink no wine, and smoke no stogies. He just Love To Eat Them Roguies. -- The Roguelet's ABC

When you dig another out of trouble, you've got a place to bury your own.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence. -- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5

Not a flying toy.

If you want to see useful Perl examples, we can certainly arrange to have comp.lang.misc flooded with them, but I don't think that would help the advance of civilization. :-) -- Larry Wall in <1992Mar5.180926.19041@netlabs.com>

Marriage, n.: The evil aye.

Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket ... I have read the INSTRUCTIONS ...

Now of my threescore years and ten, Twenty will not come again, And take from seventy springs a score, It leaves me only fifty more. And since to look at things in bloom Fifty springs are little room, About the woodlands I will go To see the cherry hung with snow. -- A. E. Housman

Remember -- only 10% of anything can be in the top 10%.

The Sage Honest people use no rhetoric; Rhetoric is not honesty. Enlightened people are not cultured; Culture is not enlightenment. Content people are not wealthy; Wealth is not contentment. So the sage does not serve himself; The more he does for others, the more he is satisfied; The more he gives, the more he receives. Nature flourishes at the expense of no one; So the sage benefits all men and contends with none. -- Lao Tse, "Tao Te Ching"

Be both a speaker of words and a doer of deeds. -- Homer

No sooner had Edger Allen Poe Finished his old Raven, then he started his Old Crow.

After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or speaker of intuitive likes". (Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X the intuitiveness of a Mac interface.)