A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of
marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
* boren tosses matlab across the room and hopes it breaks into a number
aproaching infinite peices
If the rich could pay the poor to die for them, what a living the poor
could make!
The Korean War must have been fun.
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
-- Arabian proverb
With reasonable men I will reason;
with humane men I will plead;
but to tyrants I will give no quarter.
-- William Lloyd Garrison
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
Corollary:
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Staff meeting in the conference room in 3 minutes.
First law of debate:
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Send your questions to ``ASK ZIPPY'', Box 40474, San Francisco, CA
94140, USA
"Hello again, Peabody here..."
-- Mister Peabody
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-- Benjamin Franklin, 1759
You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long
when you go out to the junk food machine and start wondering how to
make it give you the CADR of Item H so you can get that yummie
chocolate cupcake that's stuck behind the disgusting vanilla one.
*** DO YOU HAVE A RESTLESS URGE TO PROGRAM? ***
Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical
terms that nobody understands? Do you want to strike fear and loathing into
the hearts of DP managers everywhere? If so, then let the Famous Programmers'
School lead you on... into the world of professional computer programming.
*** IS PROGRAMMING FOR YOU? ***
Programming is not for everyone. But, if you have the desire to learn, we can
help you get started. All you need is the Famous Programmers' Course and
enough money to keep those lessons coming month after month.
*** TAKE OUR FREE APTITUDE TEST ***
To help determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to
try this simple test:
(1) Write down the numbers from zero to nine and the first six letters
of the alphabet (Hint: 0123456789ABCDEF).
(2) Whose picture is on the back of a twenty-dollar bill?
(3) What is the state capital of Idaho?
If you managed to read all three questions without wondering why we asked
them, you may have a future as a computer programmer.
Spirtle, n.:
The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
-- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"
The first time, it's a KLUDGE!
The second, a trick.
Later, it's a well-established technique!
-- Mike Broido, Intermetrics
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
The best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal.
-- Blair
Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
-- William Congreve
A Code of Honour: never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief
as your goal. There are too many women in the world to justify that sort of
dishonourable behaviour. Unless she's really attractive.
-- Bruce J. Friedman, "Sex and the Lonely Guy"