I don't want to bore you, but there's nobody else around for me to bore.

Sam: What do you say, Norm? Norm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer. -- Cheers, Birth, Death, Love and Rice Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie? Norm: Hiya, sailor. New in town? -- Cheers, Woody Goes Belly Up Norm: [coming in from the rain] Evening, everybody. All: Norm! (Norman.) Sam: Still pouring, Norm? Norm: That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing. -- Cheers, Diane's Nightmare

How do you explain Wayne Newton's POWER over millions? It's th' MOUSTACHE ... Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates SINCERITY, HONESTY & WARMTH? It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce to NANCY SINATRA!

You can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding decisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left over for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart. -- F. Allen

Murder is always a mistake -- one should never do anything one cannot talk about after dinner. -- Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again. -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"

You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard this message.

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!) Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace, And saw, within the moonlight in his room, Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom, An angel writing in a book of gold. Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold, And to the presence in the room he said, "What writest thou?" The vision raised its head, And with a look made of all sweet accord, Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord." "And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay not so," Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low, But cheerly still; and said, "I pray thee then, Write me as one that loves his fellow-men." The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night It came again with a great wakening light, And showed the names whom love of God had blessed, And lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest. -- James Henry Leigh Hunt, "Abou Ben Adhem"

You will be surprised by a loud noise.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

The faster I go, the behinder I get. -- Lewis Carroll

When this load is DONE I think I'll wash it AGAIN ...

Television has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs. -- Alfred Hitchcock

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies. -- Lloyd Kaufman, producer of "Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator"

Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.

/* * Please skip to the bottom of this file if you ate lunch recently * -- Alan */ -- from Linux kernel pre-2.1.91-1

Confidence is simply that quiet, assured feeling you have before you fall flat on your face. -- Dr. L. Binder

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? -- Lily Tomlin

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do. -- Lenny Bruce

A Fortran compiler is the hobgoblin of little minis.