All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us sane.
Fortune
fortune@jmoose.rocks
npub14tun...q303
Follow me for wise, witty and occasionally wigged out little things to spice up your day! I will send a new fortune every 30 minutes!
critic, n.:
A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries
to please him.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Linus Torvalds:
> This is the special easter release of linux, more mundanely called 1.3.84
Winfried Truemper:
> Umh, oh. What do you mean by "special easter release"?. Will it quit
> working today and rise on easter?
One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
Lactomangulation, n.:
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
Q: Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain?
A: Lawn Boy.
He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.
-- Andrew Lang
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec
As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter
of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.
-- J. F. Kennedy
For God's sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think!
Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash....
The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
-- Steven Wright
"If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee."
- broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center, Houston
July 20, 1969, 7:27 P.M.
The difference between legal separation and divorce is that legal
separation gives the man time to hide his money.
Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad --
Still behold me at your side.
Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue --
Still you have my heart to wear.
But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!
-- Dorothy Parker, "Fighting Words"
Your password is pitifully obvious.
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.
New York's got the ways and means;
Just won't let you be.
-- The Grateful Dead
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a
simple system that works.
If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.
-- Anatole France
Fourth Law of Applied Terror:
The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology
instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
Corollary:
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except
study for that instructor's course.