Every couple years I loose some portion of some wallet and flip the fuck out. I spent the last two day trying to figure out how to open a wallet I had an xpub for. (I figured it out, but not before flipping the fuck out.) WAY more coins are lost to storage missteps than to theft. Have a good and secure system. But prioritize accessibility. Don’t create some complex scheme that even you wont be able to figure out in a few years. Keep It Simple Stupid

No dog can find dead shit like my dog can find dead shit.

I have been using Old Bay for electrolytes.

I love seeing how parents esthetically present their kids It’s such an inadvertent and unavoidable form of expression.

pro tip for summer: cut your watermelon so that it barely fits in your mouth.

Time to crack open a six pack of ‘murica.

parsley is misunderstood.

Are you wearing fuck me crocs?!?

The main difference between literal shotcoins and stonks like strategy is that with strategy - you gotta pay your taxes.

American cheese is my Kryptonite.

American cheese is my cryptonite.

Last week I asked a guy at good will for a slip without a date written on it. Through his mask he said, “That’s illegal.”

Is a broken military clock only right once a day?

we haven’t won until they put “let’s get retarded” back on Spotify.

pretty but, “The genus is responsible for approximately 95% of fatalities resulting from mushroom poisoning….” I blame super mario.