"Are you singing Closing Time?" "Yes, as we approach 10/1, I become more hostile and combative. The pop rock hits of the late 90's soothe me. It's my happy place" "Dude that's weird."

Lemme get this straight, Ryan Routh is facing life in prison, probably 50K per year to incarcerate him, he attempts to off himself with a pen in the courtroom...and people stopped him?

Look, Sinclair and Nexstar are going to cave, that battle has already been lost. Kimmel will see a bump for a couple episodes before the show goes back to being irrelevant. I think the next move is to push hard to cancel Jimmy's show when his contract comes up for renewal. Push hard to take him off the air, so the response will be that everyone fights to keep him on air. It's counterintuitive, but I want ABC stuck with Jimmy for the next 20 years. I want them spending $1M per episode for his 6 viewers. They want Jimmy, they got Jimmy, forever.

Microdosing Tylenol will be required for future generations to know how to use the internet.

The same chuckleheads that insisted I wear a mask and take a bazillion clot shots a couple years ago are now screeching about Tylenol not causing autism. "Trust me, I went to med school." That alone leads me to believe that Tylenol is pure autism, available in pill or gel cap.

I wonder who is more likely to take the Keith Olbermann path, Stephen Colbert or Jimmy Kimmel. I think my money is on Kimmel just looking at the progression from Man Show host to his current form.

The funny thing is, I think everyone actually wanted Jimmy Kimmel gone, this was just a convenient way to make it happen. Either way, I remember Jimmy's takes during covid, and he can go fuck himself.

Look guys, I really want to get in your game boycott. Seems like fun. But it's 50 hours of slop being sold for $80, and my backlog goes back to 1986, I never was going to buy it to begin with.

The alleged conversation between the shooter and his boyfriend is the fakest shit I've ever seen. It doesn't have em dashes, but an LLM might as well have written it.

We're long overdue for common sense Pam Bondi control

Is there some sort of guide on magnitude qualifying prefixes like super, hyper, mega, ultra, etc.? I saw someone refer to a famous historical figure as a "giga-rapist" and I'm trying to understand how much rape that is.

We got a lot of mutants out there. One might even say they're spiteful.

Ah yes, the Hunters March ant gauntlet...

Speech patterns change and new patterns emerge and spread over time. In 20 years everyone could be speaking with the same cadence and vocal fry as all the tech bros.

Traditionally, Valhalla is depicted as a place where Christians, Hindus and Heathens can meet in the afterlife to discuss grilling and last nights game. (no blasphemy)

I was curious about the current thing, went to search "Discord" on Twitter, somehow my brain made the leap to "Dysgenic" and I typed that instead. Eh, close enough.

"Federal Bureau of Investigation, Advanced 4chan Intelligence Division."

I'm tired of sharing a country with these people.

I find the whole "it doesn't matter what difficulty you play the game at as long as you are having fun" thing cringey, because it leads people to believe that they are entitled to finish any game. I'm sorry, not everyone gets to roll the credits. Not every game is for you.

Acknowledging the murder of a Ukrainian refugee on US soil and our own judicial negligence, it's only fair that we send Judge Teresa Strokes over to Zelenskyy. He can put her on the front lines, drop her from a helicopter to see if she bounces, whatever is customary in Ukraine.