21 prime dad jokes about bitcoin.
Prepare to cringe!
1. Why did Satoshi Nakamoto fail mechanic school?
He kept standing back and saying ‘bitcoin fixes this’.
2. What is Bitcoiner’s favourite horror movie?
Scare City.
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqsflquxnjhuleknfccdgczyhjqa6fqgtzef58mt7yhyfm7gcm2nwespr3mhxue69uhkjmnyv4ux2u3wvdhhyctrd3jjuum0vd5kzmqpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mq9l5h7q)
3. A bitcoiner walks into a bar and orders a glass of Macallan 12-year-old.
He offers to pay 10,000 sats for the whisky. ‘This time tomorrow, it could be worth two hundred dollars!’
The barman switches the glass for water and says ‘Tomorrow, this might be a glass of single malt’.
4. My wife says that my obsession with Bitcoin has made our relationship impossible to continue with.
I've suggested we give it two weeks to see if the difficulty adjusts.
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqs06mwnfal0znef0mgsfz870dr337nnrjre6v64dzfjn3f8my6s59spz4mhxue69uhkzat5dqhxummnw3erztnrdakszythwden5te0ve5kzar2v9nzucm0d5n372lm)
5. What did Michael Saylor say when asked if he would make different inheritance plans for his will? THERE IS NO SECOND BEQUEST!
6. How many bitcoins does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fewer than 21 million.
7.Knock knock
Who's there
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say crypto?
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqsqvuz44yj580g4p20phwjjwx94f7dqxa0jm9sx9wnwvtjlz8s0t8cppamhxue69uhkumewwd68ytnrwgqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dslrwnj3).
8. What do bitcoiners eat for breakfast?
Hashrate browns, a stack of pancakes, and a couple of UT-eggs-Os.
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqsx6eyfgzenmryg2haz7szc6awnp8vrqh78d2qqfuu0nxgtn0jgahgppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qywhwumn8ghj7mn0wd68ytnzd96xxmmfdejhytnnda3kjctv9un0g2l3)
9. Snoop Dogg recently invested in 100 new Bitcoin mining rigs. He heard about the high hash rate and could resist.
10.A daughter shows her banker father her work on Bitcoin's lightning network to speed up transactions, in response he ask's her if she would like to hear his opinion on Bitcoin. She replies yes.
"It's worthless" her father says
"I know" She replies "But let's hear it anyway"
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqsyd7pjptsvk6gdhys79yrhpafpuf7ujhmfyalyj8kyc5552vmtm5spr9mhxue69uhkummnw3ezummsv4hx7unyv4uzummjvuq3yamnwvaz7tmsw4e8qmr9wpskwtn9wvqs6xf7)
11. The new movie about the life of Satoshi boast an all start cast of Dwayne ‘The Block’ Johnson, Anne Hashaway, Leonardo Decryption-o, Brad Bit, Ryan Renodes, Florence Pugh-of-work, Paul FUD, Jake Gyllenhodl, Jessica Alby, and Harrison Fork.
12. I once knew a very introverted founder in the bitcoin space.
He mined his own business.
13. Bitcoin has brought my family closer together over the years … we live in 1-bedroom now.
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqs03ekxgdp0rczjfqrrpcn7zqtdec6lcwnpfesyxnl0f239qvege2gpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpz3mhxue69uhkummnw3ezummcw3ezuer9wc9dqmsh)
14. Why did the Bitcoin go to therapy?
It had too many emotional blocks.
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqs8ttnhr3spey5uvpr2c4xgq0c4keeexfshkeqhtj895pnx8v0lm2sppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qy08wumn8ghj7mn0wd68ytt9w5hxxmmfden82mnyd96zucm0d5hsg74nrd)
15. Why did the Bitcoiner have to sleep on the couch?
His wife said he Schnorrs too much.
16. Did you know, Bitcoiners don’t care about poor customer call centers?
They love getting put on hodl.
17. Why do musicians love getting paid in sats?
Because it’s sound money.
18. I called my mongoose ‘Bitcoin’ because he has massive mood swings on a daily basis. The guy at the pet store warned me about volatile meerkats, but I didn't listen.
19. Donald Trump has banned Bitcoin miners from adopting children.
He’s calling the initiative ‘Operation Orphan Block’.
20. Why did the bitcoiner fire one of his accountants?
He realized he had a double spending problem.
21. My mom asked if I was still unemployed.
I said I’m not jobless; I’m just early!
(Courtesy of nostr:nprofile1qqs8s3s4tzwcgehnhwl2kxapqg6ffrgt2r33pfd7gl59ksd474kk99gpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpr4mhxue69uhkummnw3ez6ur4vgh8wetvd3hhyer9wghxuet5aj90xx)
Got any to add?
Make me cringe. I dare ya.
#asknostr #jokes
‘Is this it?’ You think.
‘I’m supposed to do this for the next 40-45 years? Maybe if I redouble my efforts, forgo avocado toast forever, and marry a countess, we might be able to afford a two-bedroom flat above a betting shop in a commuter town called something like Wallythorpe or Pynchbottom-on-Thames.’
I left for South America.
Travel makes you live in the moment. The only looking back you do is to organise your experiences into a coherent blog for your family and friends — you know, so they remember to be jealous.
My site was called Tall Travels.
I wrote weekly. Raw, sarcastic, and poorly edited posts.
I had all the tools I needed to create something great — a sharp observer’s eye, creativity, unlimited time and energy, inspiring people, and formative experiences.
I particularly fell in love with Argentine culture in Buenos Aires — midnight dinners, literary discussions, film festivals, rock music, street art — I drank it all in… especially ‘yerba mate’, which I drank before the Hollywood celebrities. I learned Spanish, played 5-a-side football with locals, and wrote songs on a faulty steel-stringed guitar.
Tall Travels was self-expression. I still believe that your primary audience should be yourself. However, that does confuse potential readers of your travel blog. They expect ‘10 Cozy Cafes in Buenos Aires’s Upmarket Palermo Neighborhood’, not ‘A Conversation Between Overweight Farmers on a 14-Hour Bus Journey’.
My travel blog never looked attractive. In fact, I’ve always been against taking pictures. It feels like an alternate version of reality, and pressing your face to an SLR eyepiece and clicking the shutter means you are not really looking at life. You’re not really experiencing your trip. I took a few shots on a clunky digital camera — Machu Picchu, the expansive Bolivian Salt Flats, the grassy Pampas of the Andean foothills — but they never felt like mine. One time, I watched hundreds of tourists scramble to take the same photo at Iguazu Falls, then I wrote about it in the hostel.
The posts were rants. I needed to process why everyone seemed to act so differently. This formed part of my ‘write a million words of garbage’ training.
Writing comes easy when you are feeding your soul with so many new experiences. When everything is the same, you have to trick yourself to draw the words out.
Like many forms of writing, travel blogs aren’t very honest. But, I captured the landscapes in the camera of my mind. The characters of Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Uruguay, Argentina told the kinds of stories I’d never heard before. I wrote those stories later, after I processed what they meant.
Mexico would be the next place to feed my writing journey. And luckily, I like spicy food.
#unphiltered
