GM. Missing my daughter a little more than usual today. So here’s a poem i wrote a little while back.
Skin to skin
Eyes that’ll never see the light of day
Eyes that I’ll never seen till my fateful day
Mom was all you knew
And maybe a word or two from me to you
You’ll forever Be our first
Birthdays I’ll dream of you wishing I could hear your laugh and see those dimples I knew you’d have
The sun doesn’t shine as bright when you’re not here
So every day of my life feels more dim than the one before
My heart doesn’t beat for life since you’ve left
And the struggle of feeling the need to skip all this just to Be with you eats away at my brain every day
Your mom would be devastated
So I put up with these dreadful days
Only to make her lust for life beat another day
Skin to skin
I think of that moment every day
Where I pray for you to take that grasp of air
To feel your heart beat out of your chest
To feel the warmth of your body come back
now my lungs are filling up with water &
I’m slowly drowning
My only wish is that I drown faster but the fight I put up for your mother keeps me in a state of purgatory
Moments of you I’m missing
Moments of being your father I’m missing
I don’t want to miss another one
Skin to skin
You looked just like me
I can picture us napping together
Twins? I think so
It’s gotta be hard for your mother
To see you in me every waking day
To be reminded of that tragedy from the one you love the most
I pray that her heart mends and you visit her abundantly
Your heart would have been a big as hers
The world couldn’t have some one as pure as yourself strutting through this life
So I pray that I get to do skin to skin with you one day soon
I know that won’t be the case but I have nothing else to live for so a little hope is better than what I feel right now
Skin to skin
It’s hard to breathe the air you’re not
I wish It was I whose lungs deflated
I needed you more than you needed me
I’m okay with that
Your restful head lays peacefully on the clouds
With every rainfall, I’ll be reminded of you
An angel in the sky
An angel in my heart
An angel that sweeps my dreams
Skin to skin
I weep during the night
Then Paradise when seeing you
Only to be distraught when our feline is the only imprint I see in your crib
So I’ll start these days the same
On the edge of my bed
Listening to the endless peace of nature carried into my room by this breeze
Thinking it’s you trying to talk
Picturing how old you’d look today
Is it the day she starts to crawl?
Is it the day she smiles for the first time?
I then weep some more
Knowing that all your features are just my hypothesis on the beautiful women you’d turn out to be
Skin to skin
These days are tough
I wish to see you in all your wonder
My heart breaks every morning I realize you’re not home
Let me have that moment all over again
Skin to skin
#poetry