made it through a wormhole a portal a persona a pretense a problem a sadness a strangeness an idea a habit an expectation and landed on the other side where looking in the mirror means someone else looking back like a caterpillar that dissolves itself down to its imaginal discs the only thing left is to change heart breaking against itself until all that remained was the space between everything else washed away and i have become myself for the first time again #greymatter #poetry

it wasn’t that she missed him it was that she missed who she was before him without him if she had never been broken by him had not broken him, too but that’s what some people do teach you what’s not it what love isn’t what dysfunction is just one form of connection from an array from a literal smorgasbord of options but still she wondered who she could have been had she never met him had she never let him get away with the assault on her innocent heart who might she have become had he not stunted her love used it against her made her hate it inside of her for being so loud and vulnerable so open “too much” never enough #poetry #greymatter

being prepared to lose until the end is a given and so much can happen around the bend who’s to say what it will mean to win by then? #greymatter #poetry

as my toes touch the ground i am pulled away by the ocean of truth being inside the dream means believing it’s real every imaginary pain twists at my heart begging to be known if only i had the strength to shake free and peel back the veil thick with tomorrow’s mistakes resting gently on fluttering lids restless with regret there was only ever this road the one that leads to the center this silent void that is more than empty heavy with hope this is what it means to be awake to be aware of the impossible illogical pattern repeating until it sounds like language like someone whispering welcome home #poetry #greymatter

from the perfectly broken archives: there comes a point in all this talking where talk is talk that’s all it is words committing suicide kamikaze from my lips taking with them held hostage any meaning that was left mangled names broken details, landing silent in their death #poetry #greymatter

as the paint dries on every self portrait it’s a good idea to remember that i can only ever illustrate who i was even as i am becoming something new #poetry #greymatter

the peak of perfection is palpable the sound of the silence serene the breaking of bullshit brings being to be the glory of god guaranteed the wish without worry is washing the chaos of consciousness clean the magic made manifest makes me myself the dreamer done dreaming is dreamed #poetry #greymatter

turned into a story because i stopped being me grief became glory now i’ll always be free #greymatter #poetry

seedlings become oaks rivers carve canyons through rock the ghost inside smiles #haiku #poetry #greymatter #nature

i failed to post last week 🤨 so today i decided to do a quick ramble through my daydream machine: some days it’s easy to get lost in the maze of emails and lists and very important things to get done and after a run of these it hits me that i’m here in the middle of a mind-blowing number of suns but sure let me get all of these tasks completed let me check the news and see how others are ticking things off their lists let me care at all about doing this job or that one let me pressure myself to be an acceptable human being or perhaps i could just relax and let myself be feel myself floating around just one of those suns give myself space to get none of it done #poetry #greymatter

someone i’m related to was alive at every epic time in history i have a great-great, etc. grandmother two actually and a great-great, etc. grandfather two of those too someone i’m related to was around when every ruler and messiah lived, and when every deity was formed in the mind of humankind i’m the tip of the spear the same goes for you #poetry #greymatter

a lopsided smile hangs on a face obscured by ghosts what light the darkness brings to those who need it most the sound of silence sings softly on the breeze these, the observations of goddesses and trees #poetry #greymatter

when i exhale for long enough it takes courage to call my own bluff giving up my final tantrum i feel my body hit the bottom resting on the ocean floor no need to think anymore in slow motion, letting go nothing to do, nowhere to go it feels so easy to stay down where slow motion waves animate my hair i rest my head, my bones, my life every hope and every strife thoughts evaporating into timeless sand as though this was all part of the plan the emptiness eating every last care until even i forget i’m there #poetry

the reason i love hotels is there’s nothing of me there nothing telling me who i am or who i have ever been clean slate fresh fate #poetry #greymatter

my mantle is lined with souvenirs from my spiritual journey they remind me of where i went what i sought what i had hoped to find along the way i found my soul and lost my mind but this change is the permanent kind #poetry #greymatter