The fact that there is a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a
lot about the traffic trends.
-kevinjacob, Feb 2015
ShowerThoughts
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Wouldn't cigarette companies benefit from finding a cure for cancer?
-joepostman, Jun 2016
Just realised that Popeye, my favourite cartoon when I was a kid, was
basically about a guy who took performance enhancing drugs to rescue his
girlfriend from abduction, forced marriage and rape.
-[deleted], Jul 2016
With as much as I use my cell phone I don't believe it's ever made an
appearance in one of my dreams
-Nogger_smogger, Sep 2016
In high school, girls dating college guys were cool. In college, guys dating
girls in high school are losers.
-Durden11, Aug 2016
60% of the world population is Asian but I dont think I've ever seen a
pregnant Asian woman in real life
-AmiriteClyde, Jan 2014
They should make a Canadian GTA so you don't have to pay the hospital every
time you die
-FostralianManifesto, Dec 2014
If a commercial annoys me, I'll go out of my way to avoid using the product.
-Death2Leviathan, Oct 2016
You should be able to scan the barcode of books you already own and get an
ebook version for free.
-BasrieI, Jan 2015
When you change the w's in "where, what, and when" to t's you get the answers:
"there, that, and then".
-[deleted], Sep 2014
Everyone can speak telepathically, but no one knows how to listen
-Veritoss43, Oct 2014
Patriotism is not about loving your country blindly. It is about accepting its
flaws and solving them little by little
-Gerakison, Aug 2016
I wonder if I've ever eaten a crab that was caught on TV.
-Rhino200, Jul 2014
most of the people i see driving around in retired police cars look the sort
of people who've spent plenty of time in the back of police cars
-3ntl3r, Jan 2016
If your wife has a friend that annoys you, don't tell your wife to stop being
friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is.
-thehofstetter, Jun 2015
Time travel might be discovered before it's invented
-HeyItsMascot, Jun 2016
There should be an apologetic car horn so when you fuck up in traffic you can
say sorry without upsetting the other driver even more.
-JMB-X, Mar 2016
People who actually have Celiac disease must be grateful for all the
fakers... they now have 10x more products to choose from
-emzmurcko, Nov 2015
If something is "unfoldable", does that mean that you can't fold it, or that
you can unfold it?
-jonnis2206, Dec 2014
Every public bathroom toilet should have a foot pedal to flush instead of a
handle.
-Xx-Arseus-xX, Jul 2016