Just got fired from Apple. I was the guy who designed the AirPods to shoot out at high speeds whenever you drop it. My manager said I clearly couldn't handle the case.

I was sitting here eating lunch when I realized: cottage cheese is not actually, in reality, a cheese. It's just a curd to me.

Tamagotyourdata

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar. Batman follows them in.

Son: “Dad, I think the bougie man is under my bed.” Dad: “Don’t you mean the boogeyman?” Voice from under the bed: “Wow… the thread count on these sheets is PATHETIC.”

The new iPhone Duo lets you trade and apply for jobs at the same time