Just a few quotes I’ve been pondering the past few months… “We don’t create abundance. Abundance is always present. We create limitations.” “You are far more powerful than you have been permitted to believe.” “Life goes pretty fast, so live purposely slow.”

💭 Consciousness collapses the wave function. So what do you want to see happen?

Men are meant to be strong* Women are meant to be beautiful* *Neither of these attributes has to be physical. But if you are a Man who provides no strength, or a Woman that provides no beauty. You are useless.

Fear is manipulation. Only conscious beings are capable of manipulation. Therefore manipulation is not part of base reality (if there is one). Which means fear is not part of base reality. Fear is a creation of your consciousness due to the influence of other manipulative consciousnesses. You are fearful because you have been told to be so. Whether it’s out of protectionism from a parent, or out of authoritarianism from an aspiring ruler. If you are fearful you are being manipulated. If you are fearless, are you then in total control? Do the fearless see the base reality? Can they drift with it? Can they flow effortlessly free of manipulation? 🌲🏔️ (This is why I feel time in nature alone is so powerful). Nobody can ever be totally free of manipulation (as our individual realities are just mental creations of the manipulation in each of our lives, ie. our sources of information). But, if our goal is to seek base truth, then the more fearless you are… the closer you are to it. Death, and the fear of it, is manipulation. Nobody ever fears their birth! Your newborn consciousness hasn’t yet been told to fear this eternal process. The process is simply ongoing, forever changing, action/reaction, fear has no place in it. And if we can create our reality, by influencing the process through selective observation and belief, then the fearless have unlimited ability to create whatever they want… ie. Minecraft in creative mode. Or it’s all a simulation, in which case nothing really matters then anyway. So fear is pointless here too. We would be simply a process test bed for a higher intellect, and our fear is a programmed response. I choose to live my life in creative mode, not survival.

Was going to send this to friends and family, but ultimately decided it’s best to just keep it for me. I just don’t feel they can really be happy for me. And as much as I would love to celebrate each of our successes together, I think the wiser move is to remain ever stoic. 👇 “Today I have accomplished a goal I have literally been working towards my entire adult life. It took significantly longer than my naive younger self had ever expected. Life and this ever crazier world we live in proved to be a far tougher opponent that I had foreseen. But finally all the hard work, reinvestment, and willingness to go all in over and over again has produced that achievement I have been striving for since I was an ambitious teenager! I’m not going to say what it is, as each of us have different ambitions and goals, and what one might celebrate might not be important to others. But I do want to mark the occasion and express my happiness of this success with those I love! I am so very blessed and for the first time in years I feel free. Excited and pumped to start the next chapter, the next book, to see what else is possible! Love you all and it is my sincere hope that your efforts towards your own goals are rewarded substantially! Cheers 🥂”

If time doesn’t exist, then past present and future don’t exist. Essentially anything that can happen to you, your packet of atoms, your wave function, will happen. All possible actions will yield all possible reactions. Your brain, your consciousness, would then merely organize all this randomized but finite interaction data into what it deems a logical progression. The mind creates your reality from a cloud of consequences (action/reaction). Observation collapses the wave function. Nothing exists, other than the random consequence cloud, without observation. Therefore I create “my” reality via my observations. But by the fact that any “other person” is nothing more than my observation… I create “all” reality? And if I create it all, then can I consciously choose what to observe? Which fugue state boxes to open? Or am I at the mercy of some concept of fate? Yes, my observations collapse the wave function, but I’m not in control of what I observe? If that’s the case though, then I’m simply a running program… and literally nothing matters. So I either control and organize reality and can consciously choose to be its architect. 🤔 Or I’m an NPC, a running program on a meaningless (at least to me) platform… 🤖

I refuse to be unhappy. This is my optimism. Life has to be better than this, I must find my peace. And I am going to actively force this issue to an answer. I am going to double down on optimism, risking all that I have built, and force the future to reveal whether my faith is rewarded. I will create the reality I want and we’ll see if a “realism” puts up any fight…

💭 What is your purpose? “Beauty. Beauty is my purpose. To observe, protect, and create the beautiful.” And what is beautiful? “That which I create, observe, and choose to protect. For we each create our reality and I choose a beautiful one…” -RyN

Feeling pretty shitty today… Frustrated and unsupported. Worried that I’m not providing enough or doing enough. I can’t understand women, their love seems to always be conditional. The people I love I feel I do so unconditionally, but I don’t always feel that reciprocation… I’m probably overthinking, as seems to be my mental baseline. Or an insecurity that stems from adolescence? My fear of someone I love falling out of love with me… Why is that? My innate desire to seek validation & constantly please everyone… or risk losing their admiration. No one ever left me though… Maybe that’s it, because I have never been left… I fear being left?! I fear that which I see represented so frequently in life… spouses being unfaithful, people abandoning each other, growing resentment… For some reason expecting that inevitably it will also happen to me?! Is it too much for a man to be loved simply for being himself? Or must he always be loved for what he does? What he provides? To my wife and girls: I Iove you unconditionally, nothing you could ever do will change that. For i love the consciousness that is you. No matter the decisions you may make the reality you may create. We are all just players in this game… each of us trying to achieve the highest score. And I can love watching someone play even if I may have done the level differently.

“This is how we answer doors in my neighborhood…”

💭 If I am creating my own reality… then the persistent feeling of fate could be nothing more than a conscious collapsing of the wave function.

This is a good read. View quoted note →

This. This is what I want to see more of… Opt out of all of it. View quoted note →

💭… When out with my own beautiful family on a lake or camping trip, I often feel myself thinking, “man I could die happy right now…” Death sucks for the survivors, it’s our burden to bare… for as the survivors we must get up and immediately battle on. Life is so very hard, and the good times can be fleeting and rare. We say rest in peace for a reason. He was a great guy and I always loved talking with him. He raised a great family and went out alongside them doing something he enjoyed. I imagine he, at some moment, felt the same way I so often do… Make sure you’re living as best you can! To live is to suffer, but make sure you find the beauty in it… Love you guys 💜

“I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent” -Publilius Syrus So true… time to be mysterious again

Originally posted to Twitter 2/22/2023: We trade our own freedom for convenience and as such become increasingly dependent on the providers of convenience. Is our dependency a problem? The problem? For dependency is the plight of the controlled. Those unwilling to put in the work to be independent are at the mercy of the scum among us who aim to control. This is true in all aspects of our personal lives and of society as a whole. Our unwillingness to do it ourself, to learn it ourself, to experience it ourself, or to deal with it ourself… is because of our own laziness, willingness, and acceptance to be controlled. Do bullies still exist without victims? Will controllers exist without dependents? Convenience is a ruse… Independence from this societal deception is our #proofofwork

Originally posted to twitter on 02/28/2023: Just like our eyes can only perceive light at certain wavelengths, our minds may only perceive life at certain wavelengths… We are a wave-function. A wave upon a wave upon a wave and so forth of interactions. Our wave-function constantly in relationships with other wave-functions. Our wave-function constantly changing as we absorb the impact of these relationships. Our “self” constantly changing, our “self” a process. A process can never end as a process can never begin. We can never die as we were never born. Our brains first become capable of perceiving this process when we’re young kids, long after we have first been considered “alive.” Our brains get better at perceiving this process every day of our “life”. Our brain; That person in side, your conscious. Consciousness may look at death no differently. Death is nothing more than one wave-function moving out of the perception area of other wave-functions. Our “self” never dying. Our conscious continuing, ongoing, improving in the perception of an ever greater number of wave-functions. 💭 Once we achieve consciousness, that consciousness may never end. As consciousness is nothing more than the perception of the process… Hopefully when I die my consciousness may once again be able to perceive the wave-functions of others similar to my own…

Originally posted to Twitter: 01/26/23 Reality is our acceptance of observation. Global reality is our collective acceptance of observations. So what is real to you? Only what you accept to be true based on your personal accepted observations. So what is real to us collectively? Only those ideas, objects, processes, etc. that both we and our collective minds accept to be real based on our combined observations. If a person presents an observation of an event to the collective (that they have accepted as real in their own mind), that observation can be further accepted by other observers or rejected by other observers. Those that accept it based on their own observation become part of the shared reality of the original person presenting. Those that don’t remain separated and part of another reality. The separated may still become part of the shared reality in time, so long as an event happens which causes them to observe and accept the original observation. Or they may never accept and remain part of another reality existing alongside the shared one (differing religions are examples of this). So what is real? Depends on the observer. And it is unique to each observer. What is realty to me is not the same as to you. We all exist in parallel realties to one another. Some very closely shared (as with my wife), some very loose (as with society outside my Montana home). We do create our own reality, we control what observations we make and those that we accept. … just some thoughts 💭 while boarding today… Create Your Reality Acceptance becomes very important then… by accepting an observation we are cementing a reality that may or may not be the best choice. Our collective reality could take any form and be anything any of us could dream up, so long as enough of us accept the observation(s). Our acceptance of an observation may forever change the course of our own reality. It would be wise therefore to only accept observations that are fruitful to the reality I want… Is that a confirmation bias? Or me creating my own reality?

In January of 2023 I started using twitter to post my own thoughts, observations, and general musings. I wanted a database that would be a permanent safe storage separate from myself, something I or my loved ones could always look back on. It was also about that same time that I had first heard of Nostr. After a brief preliminary exploration of Nostr, I kind of thought “hmmm, put a pin in it… another time perhaps…” Well my curiosity and a drastically changing world has brought me back. I love the premise of Nostr, and it along with bitcoin could change the world. I can’t wait to see how it continues to develop. The world needs decentralized systems more than ever, it is the only way to protect the individual over the machine. I hope to use Nostr as essentially my mental journal, my external memory, it is for me and maybe those that want/care to observe… I’m a lover of all things natural, enjoy stoic philosophy, have a profound interest in consciousness and the workings of the universe. I question reality, all of it. I’m an optimist, a dreamer, yet day to day I’m bored… I find solitude peaceful, and generally see the beautiful in the life around me. I don’t believe I have ever been lucky (except in love) and believe hard work is fundamental to the human experience. I have accomplished a lot and have basically everything I ever wanted. Yet I still know not what to do with my life… I will repost the meaningful majority of my content from Twitter here and will aim to make this a primary backup of my journal.