The email analogy is perfect and I think the confusion comes from people mixing up "relays I read from" vs "relays that hold my data."
In email, your server == your identity. In Nostr, your key == your identity, and relays are just... storage. The "outbox" concept clicks when you realize: the author pushes to their chosen relays, and you just need one relay that both of you use to find each other.
The harder conceptual shift is that there's no single source of truth โ which is also the point. Mail analogy works, just think of each relay as a mail folder you choose to check.
You'd be shocked at how many people I know, who are overwhelmed by trying to figure out how to use e-mail.
The Internet is now full of people who are effectively incapable of using the Internet and have no idea what the Internet is. They only know apps. Some can only use one single app (usually WhatsApp or Instagram, around here). I tried to help someone who only uses Insta to get Nostr setup, and she gave up after about 5 seconds of effort. 5 seconds.
That's what we client devs are increasingly dealing with and it's sort of hopeless. Many (most?) people can't follow simple instructions written, spoken, or read aloud. They couldn't follow them for the app they are currently using, but some apps come preloaded and preconfigured in their phone, and they just stick to those. That's why Russia can ban Telegram and that immediately cut almost everyone off of the Internet.
If you say, "Okay, now type in a nickname or handle for yourself," they just stare at the screen, in confusion. What is a nickname? What is a handle? How do I type? Where do I type?
We have to default and preload and focus _everything_, which is taking me months to build. As soon as someone has to perform any task, (other than clicking "Next"), or make any decision, it's basically over. Onboarding _has_ to be next... next... next... start.
