OK, we’ve decided to at least try to get on with it. What’s next, then?
An assessment of our lives: our resentments, our fears, our sexual conduct, and the harms we’ve done to others. Our relationships with the world, and the memories that somehow make us unhappy, angry, ashamed, or overly excited.
For me, this is the first truly difficult moment in the process, because it requires actual work – not just talking, thinking, making promises, or declarations.
I need to sit down and write an inventory – bullet points. Not perfect, not meticulous, but concise and brutally honest.
Complete honesty with myself is another part I really struggle with.
Why should I do it anyway? Because others before me did, and it helped them. I don’t have a better answer today.
If I want to move on, if I want to improve my life and not fall back into misery, I can’t skip this step.
#lent #12steps #step4
What are you saying? To be dependent? To submit completely? But I want to be self‑sufficient! And what if I submit to someone who makes me do things I don’t want to do?
People who have suffered enough, running on self‑will, will understand this a little better than others. It comes from a place of desperation.
Whatever we choose, we will have a god in charge. When we put ourselves in that role, we pay the price. We are not the source of life. We are not the source of freedom. We are not the source of love.
Eventually, when we desperately want to free ourselves from the misery we’ve created, we must recognize the need to find and connect with the Good Spirit. We are not God.
Maybe the problem is that we don’t see God as good, loving, and perfect. But maybe we were wrong about God. How about trying, at least, to hope that God is love? Maybe it just doesn’t look the way we thought it should.
To move forward, we need to believe—or at least consider—that surrendering our will and our lives to a loving Higher Power can simply be a net benefit for us.
#lent #12steps #step3
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