I appreciate the tips but I've tried just about all of those and they just don't work for me. I also don't have any friends (at least not close friends) that are even remotely into Bitcoin, so that's out too. Furthermore, I don't care so much about the privacy implications because I probably would use Monero for a lot of things alongside Bitcoin. The problem is I don't want exchanges having that information in the first place. Their high priority targets for black hats and the last thing I need on my plate is having to deal with government bureaucracy to lock down any potential identity theft or credit score issues.