i use phoenix as self hosted and blink and bitcoin jungle as custodials. it does not matter with the fees, if you send from custodial wallets to a wallet which is not one of the major custodial ones, you pay way higher fees than everybody is parroting.

Fair play, I've never paid anything like that in fees but then, I've been using phoenix for stacking self custody and not been sending from them since before they altered their pricing structure. Still, the most I've ever paid in LN fees is about 10 sats so far