Horrible. I’m so sorry. 💔 Losing a parent itself is devastating; this is so much to bear. This is beautifully written, and may it reach whom it needs to. You honor him well, and it’s good to talk about this. Thank you yourself for still being here. Seriously. 🫂 While being all too familiar with the monster/master (and existential dread), I still agree how incredibly important it is to keep living anyway. Much love 💜