Thread - Nostr Hypermedia

Guy Swann theguyswann@iris.to 1 year ago

If my child peed in a bag and threw it at my neighbors they would not only be grounded for a long time, but they would have to clean the exterior of iur neighbor’s entire house, paying for all of the materials and supplies with their own allowance. And they would write an extended letter of apology and until I felt it was genuine and they had any empathy toward the bullshit situation they created for someone who did nothing to them, they would not get ungrounded and they would have to keep cleaning their house monthly until I felt they had some clue as to what they did to that person. I would teach them the consequences that they had immorally forced onto someone else, but making *them* deal with it instead of the neighbor. If I best the child, all they do is potentially stop behaving that way when they fear that I’ll become violent. That does NOT teach them to care about the person they hurt, and whenever I’m not there to cause them harm, they still don’t understand WHY it was wrong. Also I lol’d at “fuck me for commenting halfway through a conversation” 🤣🤣

↑ Parent

Replies (2)

Guy Swann theguyswann@iris.to 1 year ago

In other words if all I do is teach them to fear authority, they haven’t learned to care about their victim, they’ve potentially learned that they should only do awful things IF they are the biggest person in the room. The difference here is that most of the people in this thread probably love the shit out of their kids, which is exactly what teaches them empathy and compassion for others. But it isn’t the spanking that does that, all it does it create fear. If we ignored our kids, barely loved them, AND spanked them perfectly according to all the situations that seemed to warrant it, they would absolutely become monsters. The spanking isn’t the determining factor, it’s loving them and teaching them how to treat other people.

William ₿ Travis WilliamBTravis@primal.net 1 year ago

I'm not advocating for corporal punishment. I haven't seen where it's terribly effective unless it is deeply embedded in a culture. But I guarantee you will use force if your son goes after your daughter in a physical dispute. There simply times when it's necessary. Hopefully, your strategy will work most of the time, but there will be a power imbalance no matter what you do until he is the same size as you. And then the nature of the imbalance will shift from physical to something else until your child can stand entirely on his own as an adult.

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