so if you stop hosting the data and dont care, it goes missing. if someone liked your post or quoted it, because they liked it, they can't find it anymore too. because you decided not to host it anymore. on nostr you can have a relay on your phone, and host it over an onion address. it doesn't have to be up 24/7. some nostr clients automatically resolve onion addresses already. its not self hosting vs public relays. both can exists. makes it easier to use. especially if future clients can have a relay built-in hosted over an onion address. --- many nostr clients walk the relays on the social graph. they are adventurous. quote notes can have the relay list as well, but i don't like that. when you like or quote something your client can also broadcast it to your own relays. so other people can also find what you quoted/liked/reposted. its natural. the person you follow replies, reposts, or likes something, you can find it easily. if you wanna find a person directly, who is not well connected and new. they are probably at least one popular relay so you can find them anyway, but. let's say you can't. we also have nip05 names, which can include your relay data.