idk, according to @John Carvalho pubky tried to share these issues with nostr devs and got ignored or attacked. idk if technically there's anything preventing the same to be done on Nostr, i don't believe so maybe I'm wrong. But you will end up doing what pubky did I guess, using mainline dht for discovery. People may not like it but pubky design looks solid to me.

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Its a relay discovery so just another routing layer, but improves decentralization, self-hosting and robustness of the protocol, just like in torrents.
the closest thing that exists now on Nostr is for clients to propagate the event that tells the network the relays you are using, and there are some relays that are specific just for those kinds of events like purplepage.es or something like that. But yes I guess nothing stops you from implementing something like that. I prefer a different approach for nostr based on DVMs.
I think the ideas from pubky that are valid and needed will be ported over to nostr. The network effect is here and I don't think anything they've built isn't compatible with nostr.