paranoia is usually justified
most people don't feel it not because it's irrational but because you can't live like that
as black pill as i am, i still look at the world through rose colored sunglasses 99% of the time
moments of clarity are brief / fleeting
only sadists and sociopaths can see the world for what it actually is and not want to kill themselves - that is, only somebody whose goal in life is to exploit and abuse others - NOT FOR PERSONAL GAIN - but for sheer pleasure of the abuse itself - only such people don't need rose colored glasses to survive
my pops doesn't care about bettering himself. he only cares about hurting others. to such a person the world is just a mirror reflection of their own darkness.
to a normal person the world is a horror from which they must constantly shelter themselves ( through denial )
my sadist pops is afraid of everything. he lives in constant fear. but this fear is rational. "normal" people on other hand ignore real threats and shelter from dark thoughts instead.
ultimately you can't be rational, good and not suicidal at the same time. you can have 2 of the 3.
