Its only a real marriage if you exchange keys

That’s naive. It’s not innately in our godly nature to couple up. That’s why so many marriages fail. Most marriages are based on codependency, not love. When they realize they can’t find wholeness in their other half, the marriage falls apart. If you’re marrying because you desire wholeness, then you need a prenup.

Its only real marriage if you surgically combine your bodies. No personal autonomy.

Gold diggers agree.

I stay away from them. My wife got with me at my bottom. A keeper.

That's a solid plan. Can't be gold dug if you don't have any gold.