I will also add, that I will only act, present myself in a certain matter towards you, if and only you tick a box in my mind as how you should operate and behave. This is in my humble opinion conditional and very unhealthy.
@purrs_for_Her said it beautifully how in his connection love is being fed and nourished by holding space for the other when things get messy ( putting abuse aside, that's a fat no). We are all inperfect and with flaws, if we just disconnect and retreat every time something goes not accordingly with our expectations, there is no room for growth and expansion inside a connection. If we retrieve love if someone does not act how we wish, want or expect, that in itself is IMHO, abuse.
