Am I doing Nostr all wrong? I use the default relays of my client and never ever waste a thought about relays.
Am I not seeing all the notes of all the people that I follow??
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There are many different kinds of relays, some of them curate content, so if you dial into just those ones you get a different feed.
Try
No, if all you want are the notes of people you follow then you shouldn't have to care about relays at all and your client should deliver them to you automatically.