Big issue I have with matrix is that you can't (easily? at all?) switch servers.
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Fuck matrix. Horrible UX.
ur on nostr bro
Matrix is 1000x worst
Already solved for XMPP (which also has other benefits):
And not even an issue to begin with for SimpleX (since it literally has no user IDs): 
XMPP Account Exporter

SimpleX Chat: private and secure messenger without any user IDs (not even random)
SimpleX Chat - a private and encrypted messenger without any user IDs (not even random ones)! Make a private connection via link / QR code to send ...
are you referring to setup UX or post-setup UX ?
im surprised youre this loud about matrix UI. If capable of running own matrix server, it seems like a solid choice. I havnt yet, but expect to do so for the group chat with the guys.
Everything about it is horrible ๐
Is its level of privacy when self hosted also horrible?
A big issue with Nostr is that you can't, yet, switch keys. While preferrable for it to be a key, it's similar.
Keet (or the underlying pear stack) requires no servers (just peers) & works well.