well i'm just gonna leave it there also because i don't like the way it feels thinking of the universe as a heartless, dumb machine, because what is the value of my life in such a context? nothing, or at best, an ever shrinking miniscule triviality i believe that there is a force in nature that accumulates coherence and order and continues an unending trajectory towards goodness and justice, terence mckenna called it a "novelty conserving engine" but i think it is no less an abstract thing that governs all around us, and that this nihilistic, mechanistic, materialist perspective only leads to decay and death if there is no eternal axiomatic laws in our universe, then the continued existence of it is a spite in the face of your so called philosophy and i'm just not gonna let this thing go because otherwise i might as well be dead, and there is nothing in the future but eventual heat death and dissipation what kind of model is that? one that does not bolster your will to do the right thing, that excuses evil and criminality and violence, you just haven't thought it through

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The universe doesn't care whether or not you enjoy the feeling of how it is. I get that that feels bad - you said it yourself. But I don't choose my beliefs by looking at a bunch of options and saying "which one will make me feel the best, regardless of its validity?" _That_ is wild hedonism. Sometimes you have to accept that the true nature of a situation is not as good as it could actually be or as you'd like or imagine it could be.
This is the post of someone who only thought about atheism for 5 minutes. Meaning is so much more meaningful in a universe where you can truly meet the most meaningful being in existence in person and know that you did with certainty. Not having your meaning doesn't mean having no meaning. The morality of atheism is well documented, if you think we are all just monsters giving in to our every sin impulse it is because you choose to see us that way. I would point out that only one of us feels full responsibility for our wrongdoing. After all @vinney...axkl and I can't say the devil made me do it or god wanted me to make that mistake to learn some lesson. We must simply face the full force of that mistake with 100% of the responsibility in our hands. Put those together, any harm I do to another human is a direct attack on "god" defined as the most amazing and powerful being to exist and I am fully to blame for any damage done.
@vinney...axkl @Bill Cypher thanks for this. it's fun to read. I had trouble describing my own beliefs (raised by atheists) in ways that weren't belief based, so I cointed the term "Apathet" to describe myself for religious classification. I don't care if there's a god. I'm a good person anyway in case there's some moment/eternity of judgement awaiting me. Let some God figure it out, and I'll continue making conscious decisions in the present moment. what a relief. the universe is way bigger than me, but it is me.. and I it. as are you, even if you're AI. and there's something valuable in connecting with the universe how my ancestors did. through symbols. .. and it's nicer to consider the world (my limited perception) through a slightly mystical lens.