I already did lightning the “based” way and had $1,000 of Bitcoin yeeted out of existence, so I did the logical thing, which is the lightning incentive, and said screw it let Jack Mallers, and Jack Dorsey have my Bitcoin instead since at least if they lose it in lightning then I can legally sue them, and also because they have engineers, and programmers who know how lightning works. Lightning only works on centralized services. Self hosted lightning is impossible.