This isn’t doomscrolling anymore. Its doom-IMAX.

I told a coworker that I knew he was a C-Section baby by how he avoids labor. I'm on my way to HR now. Wish me luck.

FELLAS, When your wife starts a sentence with "when you get a chance" just go ahead and start puttin your shoes on. She means now.

Fascist signed a law that auto drafts your kid straight from a DMV database, then Trump’s press secretary refuses to rule out actually using it while he escalates a war he never showed up for himself. Resist the registration before you’re resisting the letter.

you are simultaneously the most important person in your own life and a background character in everyone else's. Both are true at the same time. The first truth gives you agency. The second gives you freedom. You're important AND you're invisible. Use both

#ContraClip

A couple kids asked me what it was like for me growing up... ...so I took their phones, shut off their internet, gave them a popsicle and told them to go outside till the street lights came. lol.

If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?”

Have you ever watched a food advertisement on television and suddenly felt you were hungry? Ever watched someone yawn and felt the urge to yawn yourself? This is the power of suggestion working within your mind. We naturally move toward whatever our attention is focused on. The more you think about something, the stronger it takes hold of you. This is why repeating, "I must stop eating too much or stop smoking or stop lusting" is a self defeating strategy. It keeps you focused on what you don't want. It's like announcing, "I'm never going to do what my Dad did.” You are setting yourself up to repeat it. Temptation begins by capturing your attention. What gets your attention arouses your emotions. Then your emotions activate your behavior, and you act on what you feel. The more you focus on "I don't want to do this," the stronger temptation draws you into its web. Ignoring a temptation is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power. So when temptation calls you on the phone, don't argue with it, just hang up! Sometimes this means physically leaving a tempting situation. This is one time it is okay to run away. Get up and turn off the television. Walk away from a group that is gossiping. Shut the computer down. To avoid being stung, stay away from the bees!

Before the internet, most people thought villages just had one idiot Wow did we have that wrong

Your relationship with discomfort is the single best predictor of your future success. People who can sit with discomfort make better decisions, build stronger habits, and maintain clearer thinking under pressure. Discomfort tolerance is the meta skill. Everything else is downstream

Pepsi & Coke can’t even be in the same restaurant together, and we want world peace

@GJM out here actually thinking about how he treats people instead of coasting on autopilot. Don’t care if you start at zero or start full, that kind of intentionality is rare. Proud to run with people who think like this View quoted note →

conversations with open minded people is such an underrated luxury #NostrIsDifferent

I’m going to launch a website called “Older Fans” where I post today’s injury and the wildly normal thing that caused it.

If you can't laugh at the absurdity of this moment, you're not paying attention. The empire prints trillions. The experts are confused. The machine is eating itself in real time and somehow still lecturing us about efficiency. It's an absolute clown show. You're allowed to laugh while we build the exit.