always feel like I'm behind the curb...

gm ☕ feels like it's been a while. time moves strange.

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sharing some work in progress 👇 View quoted note →

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gm ☕ the new snake oil coming soon is sovereignty. tech and money don't make you sovereign. violence does. the capacity to employ it. to defend what is yours. nations have standing armies. taxation. the monopoly on force. citizens have nothing. ruby ridge. grifters selling you the dream now. crypto. tools. self-sufficiency. they're selling you vaporware. something that was never yours to buy. you can't opt out. you can hide. you can make yourself harder to reach. second citizenship, legal teams, distance. but you can't escape the system's hand. be wary of anyone promising you otherwise.

pure cinema. stop what you're doing and watch this. View quoted note →

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gm ☕️ i dont do well with groups. not that im a complete and utter introvert (i am), but once a group gets to a certain size, whatever signal there was, to me, just becomes noise. im part of a discord filmmakers meetup. started off small. 20 or so. then its ballooned to over 500. i stopped checking in. dont even bother hitting the meetups. i know im killing off my own networking opportunities, but something inside just says theres not much there anymore that interests me. and its not for a lack of trying. its just you try to provide some value, but its lost in said noise, like a single pixel on a static filled tv. 😶‍🌫️

just thinking… i used to run a pretty successful business three years ago. outsourcing didn't really affect me. i ran one of the first remote animation studios in the industry so we were leagues ahead of that idea. and in 2020, i think we peaked. from there a slow decline. we sold three properties. that was a highlight. and the beginning of the decline. having to deal with buyer notes, delays, and the eventual bleed of funds. i started thinking how this 'industry' is not sustainable in any way shape or form. it's a total race to the bottom. profits be damned. and the crew certainly didn't understand nor cared about profits and how it benefitted a studio's lifespan. most in the artistic field don't think like money people. the idea of profit is a foreign concept to them. my last big project was for a major studio. the project was funded by a billionaire. he had enough capital to buy the industry outright. terrifying to know. weird having dinner with his manager too. they live on a whole different level. what was interesting to me though, was how the managing class of crew were so cavalier with his funds. when i crafted the production plan, i was always careful and profit oriented first. but the hollywood crew spent money like water through cupped hands. watching thousands bleed out because no one cared felt like watching someone burn down a house just to feel warm. everyday was a fight. for two years. trying to keep ethical in an unethical industry with unethical people. they weren't amoral, but might as well be. they were there to raid the treasury, and it was gross. nothing i could do at the end of the day. we didn't speak the same language. i burnt out. it took me years to get back to some kind of creative center again. you do lose skills though. like sharing your ideas when you have them. not overthinking execution. planning. so i stepped away. traveled. and i was already deep into nostr and ai at that point. i thought if i focused my efforts there, a different environment, different people, different rules, maybe it would be different. in the beginning, nostr felt like oxygen. but over time, the roi of my efforts hasn't panned out. the platform seems to keep getting smaller. like watching something you believed in slowly suffocate. then i made hodl. my short film had real momentum when i was wrapping it up. i could feel it. but then i felt that slight tinge of burnout creeping back in. so i took time off. healthy decision, right? except when i stepped away, it just lost momentum. the lightning in a bottle moment was gone. and i realized something was happening again. the same thing. the pattern is the same no matter where i go. i burn out when i'm either compromising on values, working with people who don't give a shit, who are there to raid the treasury, or when i'm pushing something alone, uphill, without traction or validation. sometimes both at once. it's like trying to build a house while someone's setting fires on the other side and no one's helping you carry the bricks. and here's the thing… i can't fully solve either of those problems alone. i can choose who i work with, but that's limiting. opportunities are scarce. i can't control whether people share my values. and i sure as hell can't force an audience to care about what i make, no matter how hard i push. you can't will something into existence through effort alone. so before i burn myself out trying to make something no one's gonna watch, i need to figure out what actually matters here. is it nostr. is it the content. or is it something about what kind of creative work i can actually sustain without losing myself. maybe the answer isn't about finding the right platform. maybe it's about accepting what i can realistically do without compromising or breaking. who knows…

new quizzes are up on get on btc.

Get on Bitcoin

gm ☕ deleted white noise. loved the concept. can't get anyone to use it. that and bitchat. guess there's no real need until you need it. sad, but digital minimalism keeps to essentials. back from travel. kid did well. natural nomad. played with other traveling kids too. nice to see. got things to sort. thought it was Saturday. nope. so, more time back than originally thought. thinking of returning to living on bitcoin... but as a physical zone. quarterly. or maybe a travel zine or something. in the mood to make. wondering if it's time to retire this handle. had this nym since 2019. nothing lasts forever. just random thoughts. notes. putting it out there for future ref. gm ☕ #morningthoughts #coffeechain #zapme

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gm ☕

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gm ☕ chase that yield #gm #coffeechain #rekt

gm ☕

how compromised is github? I want to share my work but don't want it in the hands of MS. but if that the only way...I guess... #asknostr